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solar powered sun destroyer
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[28 Mar 2006|01:59pm] |
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mood |
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 irate |
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music |
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no warning | short fuse |
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dear crust faggots of grand rapids and surrounding areas:
-you're fourteen.
-your opinions on hardcore aren't valid, and completely worthless because when questioned about the nature of 'hardcore' you seem to think that hardcore is represented by metal bands with breakdowns. hardcore isn't headbangers ball. hardcore isn't a bunch of faggots in throwdown hoodies moshing at behind lies ruin.
-you're NOT grind. assuck= NOT GRIND. witchhunt= NOTGRIND. none of those bands are. you wouldn't know what real grind was if it tore off your dred covered head and flew away with your steaming entrails in its mouth.
-the next one of you motherfuckers that says something snarky as me or my friends walk by...i'm beating your ass.
-you seem to be more concerned with fashion and conforming than anyone you're pointing your fingers at.
-90% of you are rich white suburbanite faggots. your mom drives you to your precious daac GRIND shows in her gas guzzling suv, pays your way in and buys you 60 patches to put on your clothes, which you got from goodwill because you're POOR.
then you go back to your comfortably loud house, crank up some spoonful of vicodin, but not too loud (don't want mom to yell at you) on your 200 dollar stereo, then after a nice boca burger you go to bed watching viva la bam on your high def digital cable tv, because let's not forget, you were a skater fag in a nofx shirt three months ago.
- you're fat. you have bad skin. smelling like rancid chicken soup is not cool, it's disgusting.
-
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[25 Mar 2006|04:30am] |
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mood |
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 cranky |
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music |
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destroyer destroyer |
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conversationally nondescript ruin.
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[02 Mar 2006|02:39pm] |
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mood |
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 hopeful |
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music |
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him and her |
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if some of you are unaware, i will be moving to CA within the next eight to ten months, i will barely miss any of you.
"how we get older, how we forget about eachother." she said. entwined within the sadder of days.
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[21 Dec 2005|01:13pm] |
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mood |
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irritated |
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music |
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monster rancher 4 |
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ok so who knows who this girl is.
i assume that she lives in the whereabouts of north muskegon, her name is jessica and she has her lip pierced and she has black hair, i realize that these aren't very defining qualities for kids around here but she came into my work and now i need to know who she is for no reason.
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[14 Dec 2005|11:31am] |
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mood |
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irritated |
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music |
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ringworm |
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last night i heard some shit that didn't really sit well with me, and i have this to say about it.
you'd better add your own husky ass to the back of that hoodie, you two faced two chinned piece of redneck nascar shit. when it all comes down you're the fakest motherfucker around, unless you've forgotten these ripe ones:
less than four months ago "i don't even like hardcore anymore, it's stupid, i only listen to straight up metal now"
and also my personal favorite "i would drink if i wasn't epileptic."
DID YOU FUCKING FORGET ABOUT HOW MANY TIMES YOU SOLD OUT STRAIGHT EDGE AND THEN RECLAIMED SO THAT YOU COULD FIT IN WITH WHOEVER YOU WERE HANGING OUT WITH? actually it was more like idolizing, actually more like attaching yourself like some bloated parasite.
words don't even express how badly you're going to get it for bringing my girlfriend into this. you don't know her, hell you don't even know me, you don't know what straight edge means to me, but i do know what it means to you, it's a popularity tool that you pull out from under your dale earnhardt blankie when you want some fucking security from a group of kids you're sucking the blood out of.
i'm sick of your shit, comment here so i can give you a call, i'll give you directions to my house so i can personally shove that hoodie up your fucking pussy.
i'm calling you out you fake fuck.
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[21 Nov 2005|02:46pm] |
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mood |
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 happy |
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music |
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suffocation |
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might be back around pretty soon.
lately i've been hanging out with jeremy alot, working on stuff for our band, which is going to be sweet, and things will actually happen. alycia's coming over for almost a week in a couple days, we're having thanksgiving with my family.
i got a twelve ounce mouse tattoo.
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[14 Nov 2005|12:57pm] |
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mood |
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good |
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music |
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hoods | e pugna limpio |
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you'll never get the best of me.
i'll never rest until you bleed.
you can't beat me
you can't stop me
you won't kill me
you've been warned.
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| 018 |
[29 Oct 2005|11:00pm] |
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mood |
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happy |
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music |
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converge | downpour |
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i won't be on aim for a while, so this entry has a few messages for a few people. there's some shit with the computer we need to deal with.
ALYCIA: i'm working tomorrow from 10 AM to 7 PM so i will call you between 7:30 and 8:00.
SAMMI: i am mad at you.
MIKE AND SERRA: call me and hang out with me. 744 2199.
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| 017 |
[25 Oct 2005|02:17pm] |
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mood |
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 numb |
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music |
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supermachiner | by the roadside |
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if you happen to stumble upon this someday, please don't bother responding, i don't need it. things can never be the same again, i've aged and i've changed even in the little time things have been different. they're not as wonderful, at least not for me anyways, everything has this dull grey about it now, and everything seems like it was swallowed up in some tide. we all have our reasons, and i've been through it a million times before, but i've never felt a part of something or that something was a part of me as much as my time spent with you, those days will be emblazened in gold in my heart forever but i usually let the memories pass. it pains me greatly, alot of times when i'm alone i get choked up, i never have anything to say, and for the most part i still don't. i don't want any words and i don't want any comfort, what is is always going to be what is. everyone has a long path to walk...as for those months, it will always be the only true connection with a friend i've ever had.
i will learn to fly as high as angels and as low as the rest of you.
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| 016 |
[24 Oct 2005|01:36pm] |
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mood |
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happy |
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music |
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uphill battle | shifting pain |
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yesterday was alycia day. we layed in her basement all day watching old recordings of her childhood birthday parties, we also watched the entirety of 'walking with prehistoric beasts'. lately i've been seeing alot of people i enjoy, things have been fun. i've been going to the vous with mike and serra. i'll finally actually be driving around within the month, it's just taking a long time because i'm only working part time and i have to pay for everything car related, including plates, insurance, etc. for the most part i'm greatful for having started to calm down, the past week has been extremely stresful, i've been starting to forget weird things. i'm hungry, bye.
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| 014 |
[18 Oct 2005|11:27am] |
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mood |
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 drained |
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music |
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flesh and blood robot | the flower and the corpse |
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dear kids of muskegon:
my undying hatred of you will never end, you're all worthless and fucking stupid, i hope your beds catch on fire.
derrick came over last night, which was a sweet surprise because i haven't seen him in almost a month, i finally just got ahold of him and he swung by, hopefully something he'll be doing more often. i start work finally tomorrow, it's nice.
still in the middle of the ocean, it feels like every time i spot dry land it just gets rained out in a grey blur. i wish randomness would stop jerking my sensitivity around and just let me breathe peacefully for a few days and let me sit assured. i miss alycia very very much right now, more than usual, hopefully everything turns out for the weekend. i think i didn't get enough sleep, my insides are floating on tarpaper.
the other night the giant yellow full moon was one of the sweetest things i've ever seen.
dear tyler sowyoulezzy: did you burn me that disc yet? if you did i'll try to get over and pick it up.
dear gregg giddigs: tanks fer takin leesha home de other night.
dear muskegon kids: fuck you again.
dear apparition: a sweet band.
also this chick is rad:
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| 013 |
[16 Oct 2005|09:11pm] |
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mood |
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 stressed |
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music |
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any given second | brothers in arms |
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sorry for being snippy. i just wish i could hear your voice a little more often, i feel like i'm at the bottom of your list. love you, have gud schul dayi call u at nien.
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| 012 |
[09 Oct 2005|08:25pm] |
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mood |
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 ecstatic |
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music |
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machetazo | niebla funebre |
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i like long walks at night with cold hands. and i like waking up in the morning when her hands are very warm.
i'm ordering these in a couple weeks.
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| 011 |
[06 Oct 2005|10:17pm] |
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mood |
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 nostalgic |
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music |
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cursed | pariah |
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my chest swells with happiness at the prospect of regaining a part of my past i had always thought lost, with friends i haven't spoken to in ages. i am seeing my beautiful alycia tomorrow. right now i am truly happy.
stuck on haruko: hai. fuck thaco in its ass.
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| 009 |
[04 Oct 2005|01:30am] |
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mood |
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 accomplished |
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music |
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most precious blood | narcoleptic sleepwalker |
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tonight i choked on the air i breathed. tonight my head bounced off the concrete of the past, it's a familiar situation to type while holding back tears, unable to even explain what they mean, but i feel this heart pumping fast and soundly, threatening to break it's cage. i look back on such a vast stretch, and i leave this screen door to clear my head and feel the cold air and look at the moon, to visit the train tracks, to wish she was here. i hope she's sleeping soundly. tonight my sky was falling and the faces of my memories were all mounting their guns and their attack finally came. heaving drunkenly over a train track bridge, clarity came out with all the tears and screaming. i am not in your shadow. i never belonged to you and i never gave in to you. all of you are gone. as for now i breathe deeply in shaking trembles, a thousand words all flooding, a thousand grey sunday mornings, a thousand chain link fences, a thousand times i've wished that sky was mine. i knew when the time came i would have to face them alone, but here i fucking am. i love you alycia, thank you for being with me and i can't wait until i see you again, because i don't care about wiping away the grit of tears anymore.
tonight i conquered my fucking demons.
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| 008 |
[03 Oct 2005|03:43am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 i miss you |
] |
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music |
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all shall perish | our own grave |
] |
it's hard to sleep, my bed is so big and lonely without you, precious.
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